Healthy Divorce Perspective: Looking at Divorce Through the Right Lens
Approaching divorce with the right perspective is often much easier said than done, but when you are able to look at the end of your marriage through a positive lens, the outcome is always healthier and less stressful for everyone involved. Grief and healing are processes that inevitably take time, but when you channel your energy into staying focused on new beginnings that will result from the separation, the road to peace and acceptance is generally less bumpy.
Here are three ways to help yourself develop a positive perspective on divorce:
1. Know When to Cut Your Losses.
Whether it is material possessions, bank accounts, or impending vacation plans that you made with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, one way to put a positive spin on divorce is to know when to let go and throw in the towel. Money and possessions are often mediums that couples use to take out all of their frustration, hurt, and anger, as using these things as weapons gives them the power to affect their partner. Instead of adding fuel to the fire and contributing to the storm, choose to compromise when it comes to money and belongings, or make the decision to walk away completely.
2. Put the Kids First.
If you have children together, putting the needs of your children first is another surefire way to ensure you are keeping a healthy perspective on the divorce. Although the old stereotype implies some couples stay together for the sake of the kids, there are plenty of couples, like you and your spouse, who recognize when it is time to split and that your marriage is as unhealthy for them as it is for both of you.
3. Be Realistic.
Being practical sounds easy enough, but it actually takes a great deal of effort to do so. Make the decision to remain realistic about your divorce and all that it entails. This means acknowledging that divorce is painful, no matter how amicable the split may be. It is a process that is emotionally difficult for everyone, regardless of the circumstances. Change is never easy, healing takes time, and similar to death, a divorce is a form of loss that you cannot escape unscathed. Be patient with yourself and everyone involved by recognizing you are enduring similar struggles, although you may be dealing with them in very different ways.
Sources:
https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-mcelhenney/a-positive-split_b_5646145.html
